that's my fault. you probably never noticed but sanji had really pretty eyes. blue. too pretty to just give one up for nothing. but he did and now he's
( still pretty, and still heartfelt, and probably still willing to give up the other eye if it would benefit nami. she didn't want him to give up the first one. she doesn't want any of her friends to bleed for her. )
look i just can't be near you two. you'll get hurt. deep down you know it's true.
( it's what nami is good at, after all. hurting the people she's closest to. she's been doing it since she was a girl. )
i vowed to protect both of you and i don't intend on breaking that vow even if i've done a shitty job of it so far i couldn't protect you from that monster because i decided to go off on my own and now i have to fix it.
but you promised to help us, too
( yeah, he remembers. even as delirious and out of it as he was then — as delirious and out of it as he is now, honestly, with the lack of sleep — zoro will never forget that night and what they'd done for him. his vow is as serious as anything to him. )
( he hasn't done a shitty job. not even the best of people could keep a broken cup held together with just the palms of their hands — nami is hopeless, helpless, and unworthy of the effort. she feels confident about that. she doesn't know how she became such a good con, as to trick them otherwise. )
that's a difference between us you keep your promises and i break mine
( the sooner zoro goes back to thinking negatively of her, the better. let him think the worst. let him imagine she's given up. he'll never know what a sacrifice she's making for them — protecting sanji and zoro from herself, even if it kills her, just a little, on the inside. )
( he'd be lying if it said that nami's refusals don't sting, don't immediately take him back to the moment he woke up after days spent trying to sleep off his injuries from mihawk's blade, dreaming about nami leaving them behind, only to find out that it was true. that she had betrayed them for arlong.
— only she hadn't. )
no you don't you made a promise to save your village and you kept it.
( it stings now, too, that she seems determined to leave him and the cook behind, to drive zoro away by any means necessary. teeth gritted, he desperately tries to wade through it — for all of their sakes. )
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( still pretty, and still heartfelt, and probably still willing to give up the other eye if it would benefit nami. she didn't want him to give up the first one. she doesn't want any of her friends to bleed for her. )
look i just can't be near you two. you'll get hurt. deep down you know it's true.
( it's what nami is good at, after all. hurting the people she's closest to. she's been doing it since she was a girl. )
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he didn't give it up for nothing
he gave it up for you
you're not nothing
but you're hurting him worse by staying away.
( maybe hurting zoro, too, since he's still wallowing in his own guilt for not protecting her from the hag. sanji is a good enough scapegoat. )
if you think i'm scared of getting hurt, you're dead wrong
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how is she supposed to face zoro, knowing he probably resents her for it, too?)
i'm scared of hurting you
zoro
i feel like i'm scared of everything
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i vowed to protect both of you and i don't intend on breaking that vow even if i've done a shitty job of it so far
i couldn't protect you from that monster because i decided to go off on my own and now i have to fix it.
but you promised to help us, too
( yeah, he remembers. even as delirious and out of it as he was then — as delirious and out of it as he is now, honestly, with the lack of sleep — zoro will never forget that night and what they'd done for him. his vow is as serious as anything to him. )
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that's a difference between us
you keep your promises and i break mine
( the sooner zoro goes back to thinking negatively of her, the better. let him think the worst. let him imagine she's given up. he'll never know what a sacrifice she's making for them — protecting sanji and zoro from herself, even if it kills her, just a little, on the inside. )
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— only she hadn't. )
no you don't
you made a promise to save your village and you kept it.
( it stings now, too, that she seems determined to leave him and the cook behind, to drive zoro away by any means necessary. teeth gritted, he desperately tries to wade through it — for all of their sakes. )
nami
where are you?
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then i'm protecting you by staying away
forget about me
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nami
just tell me where you are
( there's long pauses in between each message, like he's waiting for an answer that never comes. )
fuck
( and he finally closes his notebook, tired of looking at it. time to find a wall to punch, since "shitty cook" is decidedly off the menu right now. )
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i'm sorry
don't hate me