[He almost says something stupid like "we can be alone together", but maybe nearly a year knowing her tells him to shut up, wait.]
I know. I'm sorry, Nami. It wasn't because of you. I know you get in your head, and you can tell me to fuck off and I will, but it wasn't because of anything you did.
( distant, aching sting. like when you see a dragonfly with a broken wing, and know there's no helping it — none of them ever had a chance. )
i'm sorry about those two guys, kobes. they were so out of line with the shit they were saying. they're assholes. you deserve better. like, whole worlds better.
[Slight pearl-clutching, she might as well have said that she doesn't give a fuck about justice or the Dewey decimal system or something.]
Well, we had no idea what was happening. Now we have an idea of what's coming, as terrible as that is. It won't take us by surprise again.
No. I mean. I didn't think so? I told myself for so long that if I ever got away I'd never be like [Koby doesn't write the name, like it'll somehow summon her. He wonders if Nami ever thinks of Arlong. He's been vague about the worst of those two years, and she's been likewise. But he lived in the snow with her for months -- he's seen her nightmares. She's seen his.] the pirates I knew. But then Luffy sort of turned everything upside-down.
( she hears the quiet part easily, because it's a regular running monologue in her head — nami, you hate pirates, and yet somehow you are a pirate. her hatred hasn't really gone anywhere, at the end of the day — arlong still killed her mom and ransomed coco village, buggy still took over an entire town for fun, kuro still tortured kaya for her inheritance. we're different pirates, luffy said to her once. )
i don't need to tell you that luffy is special. straw hats are not ordinary pirates. we well, i don't know. i like to think we have more heart, but really it's just luffy. he's important to every person he meets. we'd all do anything for him. ( annoyed she can still admit this, even when angry with him. randomly, ) i told you my mom was a marine?
I'm too scared to be pissed. I'll be pissed later, when we're all safe again. Quentin voted for one of the Targaryens. They're terrifying and violent and they hold grudges. Alicent promised they wouldn't retaliate, not while the game is happening, but I can't think about that. I can't think about anything happening to any of you and still do what I need to do.
[There's the core of it -- that the both of them have some past that's marked them down to their bones. That Koby doesn't go a day without hearing Alvida's voice in his head, telling him all the ways he has failed, will fail. That Nami carries her village, her family, the horror of those years with Arlong etched into her skin. They both hate pirates, hate their reckless, destructive, soul-crushing violence, hate that being owned by them feels as familiar as breathing.
And yet.]
You're right. I thought that from the beginning, when I only knew you from Shell's Town, from when I didn't go with you. Luffy finds people who are special, like him. [That voice, again, whispers: that's why you didn't belong with him, Koby. You know that. You knew it then, you know it now.]
You did. It was one of the first things you ever said to me. It was the thing that made me think we could someday be friends.
( koby being less petty than her completely tracks )
we'll get through it. that's all we can do. quentin's a tough guy. i mean — people wanted to talk about our block vote, but didn't even mention that whole family tipping the scales. love double standards.
you're special, koby. you're the only marine i'd ever associate with. you have no idea how big the first hurdle was when we first met up in the village, but you walked over it like it was nothing.
yeah. she was a marine. but then she saw me and my sister abandoned and dying, and she left her post so she could be our mom. i'm just saying, sometimes you can leave the responsible thing and do the right thing. if you couldn't, i wouldn't be alive.
[It’s his dumb “believe the best in people” instinct acting up again.]
You’re right. It has to end eventually. The house needs us, I think – that’s a theory I have, about why we’re here. The witches took us for an army, but I think this place took us for some other reason. Well. They’re very loud and very open about how they’re willing to stab people. They’re the sort of people who use intimidation and fear to keep people in line. [Not you, Alicent, you’re an angel and we’re happy you’re here.] We don’t do that, even though Zoro is the greatest swordsman alive and Sanji can kill people with his feet and Shanks is Shanks, and that’s not even touching on how Luffy can somehow get out of ANY fight without a scratch on him. I haven’t really seen Usopp fight, but I’m sure it’s the same. And you’re the most powerful woman in the entire multiverse, so. People don’t understand that you COULD force them to submit. But you won’t.
[Sometimes Koby hates that starved part inside him that greedily, hungrily gobbles up every bit of praise, every bit of approval. Nami says he’s special and he should be humble, he should deny it, but he leans into it like a cat into a caress.]
Well, we got off on a better foot. I threw up on Zoro when we first actually talked to each other, in the village. And you were Luffy’s crew, and I knew I was dead if I didn’t somehow stick close to you.
Right. That’s incredibly difficult to do. The Marines don’t take kindly to people leaving their post, for any reason. [There are a thousand burned villages, a million orphans, but – these two, these tiny, helpless, starving girls had been the ones to prompt Nami’s mother to turn away, to abandon her oath. As a (former, current, past?) Marine, Koby should condemn her for that. Instead he just fervently, wildly wishes he could meet her. Tell her Nami’s still safe, still okay, still being brave and warm and bright. Promise her he’ll keep her that way.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
after everything cause he gotta check in with his girlie
no subject
sometimes i miss being alone
( at least she never hurt this bad, then. )
no subject
Do you want to be alone right now?
no subject
( kind of. but this is some kind of alone she's good with. )
i can't believe he did that ( could be either he, really. except )
sanji was the one who wanted to vote in a group to start with
no subject
I know. I'm sorry, Nami.
It wasn't because of you. I know you get in your head, and you can tell me to fuck off and I will, but it wasn't because of anything you did.
1/2
i do kind of want to kill sanji. what else is new
2/2
he makes it seem like he always has my back but he never never does
1/2
I don't know. It's different, I know. But it still hurts.
2/2
no subject
i'm sorry about those two guys, kobes. they were so out of line with the shit they were saying. they're assholes.
you deserve better. like, whole worlds better.
no subject
I've got you, don't I?
1/2
unless you decide to turn on me. then i'll fine some new pink dork to bully
2/2
no subject
Yeah. I mean
I'm always okay.
I'm not changing my vote. It probably doesn't matter now, but
I'm not.
no subject
that's how a crew is supposed to work.
you're my crew, koby.
no subject
I'd do it all over again. Okay? The village, here, everything. I'd pick you guys again.
no subject
( a little wait, the typing dots appearing and disappearing. )
me too.
i don't regret it.
no subject
Does that officially make me a pirate?
Garp is going to kill me if he ever shows up here.
After he kills Luffy.
no subject
well.
do you want to be a pirate? i still struggle with the title too.
no subject
Well, we had no idea what was happening. Now we have an idea of what's coming, as terrible as that is. It won't take us by surprise again.
No. I mean.
I didn't think so? I told myself for so long that if I ever got away I'd never be like [Koby doesn't write the name, like it'll somehow summon her. He wonders if Nami ever thinks of Arlong. He's been vague about the worst of those two years, and she's been likewise. But he lived in the snow with her for months -- he's seen her nightmares. She's seen his.] the pirates I knew.
But then Luffy sort of turned everything upside-down.
no subject
( she hears the quiet part easily, because it's a regular running monologue in her head — nami, you hate pirates, and yet somehow you are a pirate. her hatred hasn't really gone anywhere, at the end of the day — arlong still killed her mom and ransomed coco village, buggy still took over an entire town for fun, kuro still tortured kaya for her inheritance. we're different pirates, luffy said to her once. )
i don't need to tell you that luffy is special. straw hats are not ordinary pirates.
we
well, i don't know. i like to think we have more heart, but really it's just luffy. he's important to every person he meets.
we'd all do anything for him. ( annoyed she can still admit this, even when angry with him. randomly, ) i told you my mom was a marine?
no subject
Quentin voted for one of the Targaryens. They're terrifying and violent and they hold grudges. Alicent promised they wouldn't retaliate, not while the game is happening, but
I can't think about that. I can't think about anything happening to any of you and still do what I need to do.
[There's the core of it -- that the both of them have some past that's marked them down to their bones. That Koby doesn't go a day without hearing Alvida's voice in his head, telling him all the ways he has failed, will fail. That Nami carries her village, her family, the horror of those years with Arlong etched into her skin. They both hate pirates, hate their reckless, destructive, soul-crushing violence, hate that being owned by them feels as familiar as breathing.
And yet.]
You're right. I thought that from the beginning, when I only knew you from Shell's Town, from when I didn't go with you. Luffy finds people who are special, like him. [That voice, again, whispers: that's why you didn't belong with him, Koby. You know that. You knew it then, you know it now.]
You did. It was one of the first things you ever said to me. It was the thing that made me think we could someday be friends.
no subject
we'll get through it. that's all we can do.
quentin's a tough guy. i mean — people wanted to talk about our block vote, but didn't even mention that whole family tipping the scales. love double standards.
you're special, koby. you're the only marine i'd ever associate with. you have no idea how big the first hurdle was when we first met up in the village, but you walked over it like it was nothing.
yeah. she was a marine. but then she saw me and my sister abandoned and dying, and she left her post so she could be our mom.
i'm just saying, sometimes you can leave the responsible thing and do the right thing. if you couldn't, i wouldn't be alive.
no subject
You’re right. It has to end eventually. The house needs us, I think – that’s a theory I have, about why we’re here. The witches took us for an army, but I think this place took us for some other reason.
Well. They’re very loud and very open about how they’re willing to stab people. They’re the sort of people who use intimidation and fear to keep people in line. [Not you, Alicent, you’re an angel and we’re happy you’re here.] We don’t do that, even though Zoro is the greatest swordsman alive and Sanji can kill people with his feet and Shanks is Shanks, and that’s not even touching on how Luffy can somehow get out of ANY fight without a scratch on him. I haven’t really seen Usopp fight, but I’m sure it’s the same.
And you’re the most powerful woman in the entire multiverse, so. People don’t understand that you COULD force them to submit. But you won’t.
[Sometimes Koby hates that starved part inside him that greedily, hungrily gobbles up every bit of praise, every bit of approval. Nami says he’s special and he should be humble, he should deny it, but he leans into it like a cat into a caress.]
Well, we got off on a better foot. I threw up on Zoro when we first actually talked to each other, in the village. And you were Luffy’s crew, and I knew I was dead if I didn’t somehow stick close to you.
Right. That’s incredibly difficult to do. The Marines don’t take kindly to people leaving their post, for any reason. [There are a thousand burned villages, a million orphans, but – these two, these tiny, helpless, starving girls had been the ones to prompt Nami’s mother to turn away, to abandon her oath. As a (former, current, past?) Marine, Koby should condemn her for that. Instead he just fervently, wildly wishes he could meet her. Tell her Nami’s still safe, still okay, still being brave and warm and bright. Promise her he’ll keep her that way.]
What was her name? If you
Want to tell me.